Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Monday Night Raw Review 24/09/12

"Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman".  We're introduced with Heyman and Punk in the ring.  No intro.  Heyman has bad news for us, as the show is grinding to a halt.  Raw will not be presented this evening until justice is served.  Heyman is sure we all know what we're talking about.  He shows us the main event of last week, where Punk had his foot on the ropes before the 3-count.  Heyman brings out the ref from the main event of last week, who makes his way out.  Heyman wants him to resign.  JR is the guest commentator this week, by the way.  The ref admits he made a mistake last week, saying he was nervous and should have checked the ropes before completing his count, and he feels terrible.  Heyman applauds the ref for admitting that, and tells him to resign.  Crowd are chanting 'no'.  The ref says although he does apologise, he doesn't feel... CM Punk doesn't care what he feels, as he interrupts him and says he has embarrassed himself, as well as the WWE Champion on CM Punk's show.  Punk asks how the ref got the job in the first place.  The ref explains that when Raw expanded to 3 hours, he was called by AJ as she needed more officials.  Heyman says that the ref is a replacement, a novice, a rookie, not even a ref.  Heyman tells him that tonight when he goes to sleep, he hands him a night mask with the WWE logo and NFL logo.  Punk tells Heyman that that is a very telling piece of eye-wear, as he wore that last week during the match.  He asks the ref that he was the buffoon that was hired by the idiot GM and that if she had a brain she would fire him.  Lee comes round, and into, the ring.  She thanks and dismisses the ref.  Heyman welcomes AJ to her show and assumes she is out here to reverse the decision from last week.  AJ says that when he assumes, he makes an ass out of you and me. HA!  Brilliant... 'cause ass.. u... me... hur hurhurhruhruhruhweaoiurhnwaon.  Anyway, she asks Heyman who he thinks he is holding her show hostage.  Punk tells her who he is, that he's the WWE Champion.  Crowd boos.  He says he is the reason AJ has a job and that he's the reason the audience are all sat in their seats today.  He knows why there's so much hostility between Punk and AJ.  It's because of 2 months ago when AJ proposed to Punk and Punk turned her down.  Punk suggests that is the reason she sent an incompetent ref to screw him over last week.  He said if we forget the match took place, he will forget how AJ worshipped him not long ago.  He asks AJ to let everyone know how intimate the two of them were behind closed doors.  He asks her to tell them why there's a skip in her step, and why he's the best in the world.  Heyman takes over, telling Punk he's got this.  CM Punk chant starts up.  Based on everything Heyman has seen tonight, he gets on one knee, and proposes to AJ.  He says they could be the biggest power couple ever, trumping Brad and Angelina, Bill and Hillary Clinton and Triple H and Stephanie.  Heyman would come up with all the ideas, and AJ could take credit for all of his brilliance.  He tells her not to be offended, as he likes them young, uninhibited, dumb and ambitious.  AJ says nothing, and slaps Paul E. round the FACE before marching off.

That felt very Triple H-esque, when he forced Earl Hebner to reverse his match with Jericho 10+ years ago. Not bad to start with two of the best on the mic.  Whole thing was about 15 minutes heading into the first break.

Refs are backstage talking to AJ.  The ref thanks AJ for standing up for him and promises he won't make the same mistake again.  AJ agrees, as if he does make a mistake again, she will personally see to it that he will never work in this business again.  He embarrassed her.  Ref apologises again, as AJ is staring off into the distance, tears rolling down her face.  She crazy.

Guerrero introduces Mr. Money in the Bank, Dolph Ziggler.  I'M HERE TO SHOW THE WORRRRRRLD!  He's going one-on-one against Kofi.  They had a twitter war earlier in the week apparently, hence the match.  Kofi is accompanied by R-Truth with Little Jimmy in toe.  R-Truth gives Little Jimmy some popcorn and a fizzy drink as Vickie starts bad mouthing his imaginary friend.  Ziggler and Kofi come in to mediate, until the drink is spilt over Vickie.  The ref comes in and holds Ziggler back before ejecting both Vickie and R-Truth.  Glad he ejected them both, as it makes him seem like a more legit official.  Vickie runs after R-Truth.  Now the match can begin.

Kofi and Zig exchange kicks and Kofi gets the upperhand with a dropkick that COMPLETELY MISSED.  Announcers try to sell it as being half-blocked.  Kofi knocks Zig to the floor and flies over the top onto Zig as we hit another ad break.

Ziggler in control now as he hits an Exploder Suplex on Kofi for a 2 count.  Beautiful.  Ziggler slaps a headlock on Kofi as Cole tells us that Criss Angel is the social ambassador for the night.  That's almost as bad as the guest GM's.  Neckbreaker by Dolph gets another 2 count.  "Damn, I'm good!" yells Ziggler.  Yep.  Kofi fights back with punches to the face but is met by a dropkick that actually hits by Ziggler.  Another headlock with body scissors by Ziggles.  Both men exchange punches briefly before Ziggler misses a splash in the corner.  Back and forth again with punches.  Ziggler misses as Kofi does his chops followed by a dropkick and superman punch.  Spinning Boom Drop by Kofi, who sets up for Trouble in Paradise.  Kofi misses and Ziggler goes for another Exploder Suplex.  Kofi goes for the SOS, but is shoved to the corner.  Kingston with a kick to Ziggler followed by a springboard superman punch.  Pace picked up there.  Kofi hits a huge crossbody on Ziggler for a 2.  Good match so far.  Ziggler hits the fameasser for a 2 count himself.  Ziggler goes for the Zig Zag, but Kingston holds onto the ropes.  SOS by Kingston for a 2 1/2 count.  Kingston up top goes for Ziggles, who tried to counters, but gets counter-countered by Kingston who goes back up for another huge crossbody.  JR calls this a main event-type match.  I tend to agree.  Kofi sets up for Trouble in Paradise again, but misses.  Ziggler shoves Kofi into the corner, who looks like he landed on his head.  Zig Zag by Dolph for the 3 count and the win by pinfall.  Great TV match by two of the best in the biz.  Ad break.

Cole and JR throw us to a diner for another Anger Management segment.  Bryan and Shelby are sat together and Shelby says he is very proud.  He's set up a role playing strategy to show that D-Bry and Kane can co-exist peacefully outside of a ring.  Kane shows up with an apron and asks Bryan if he can take his order.  Bryan laughs and Kane tells Shelby that this is stupid.  Shelby convinces him it's not and encourages him to carry on.  Bryan makes an order, and says he wishes he could have someone who's not a 7-foot freak.  Shelby said this isn't Kane, this is 'Gerald', the friendly waiter.  Kane.. uh, Gerald, tells Bryan that they have a new cook, as the old one was really annoying.  He told Bryan that this morning, he took the cook by the beard and dumped it into the fryer.  He then said he took the remains of the fried goat beard and has served it in everything today.  Later there's a twitter vote for the team name of Kane and Bryan.  Not as strong as previous segments, but still funny.

PTP are in the ring following the break, against the team of Ryder and Marella.  Urgh.  Young and Ryder start off.  Young taunts Ryder and gets a slap in the face followed by a flapjack.  Two count for Ryder, who leads Young face first into the turnbuckle.  Young counters by hanging Ryder on the ropes followed by a headlock.  Back suplex attempted by Young but Ryder rolls out and tags Marella who hits some comedy moves, as well as a back suplex.  Young tags Titus in who Marella doesn't see.  Sky High by Titus (I almost wrote tits... hee hee) gets the Prime Time Players the win.  JR puts over the fact that the ref made sure they saw the shoulders were actually down, referencing the opening segment.
  Pretty short match to be anything, but the right guys won.  In my opinion, Ryder and Marella should go back to Superstars and bring up people like Drew McIntyre.  The former have both been around long enough and they've not really lit the world on fire, as their gimmicks are becoming increasingly stale.  I'm not telling you anything you don't already know #seano'haire.

Ooh lovely!  Mrs. Foley's baby boy, the Hardcore Legend, Mick Foley makes his way down as a special guest.  Foley has a bit of a reputation for making some (purposefully) bad promos.  I hope this isn't one, as he is one of the best promo men when he gets going.  Foley thanks everyone, and says that as a fan he sees things that move and inspire him, such as last year's emergence of CM Punk.  He said CM Punk inspired change, but one year later what happened?  Bullying refs, following Heyman.  The Punk Foley knew gave a voice to the voiceless.  Enter, Punk, in a blue hoodie.  Punk brushes past Foley as he grabs a mic.

He tells Foley not to come out here and grandstand to these people.  He tells him if he has something to say he should say it to Punk's face.  He suggests Foley tells everyone why he's really here, and wonders if he's selling a new kid's book.  Foley wondered if he indeed was relevant to today's WWE, but Punk cleared that up last year for him.  After Punk shocked and inspired the world by becoming the WWE Champion, Foley gave Punk a text to congratulate him.  Foley said "How does it feel to be the biggest star in the business?", to which Punk replied "Thank you Mick, that means a lot coming from you".  So, unless Foley is mistaken, he only responded to a few people, one of whom was Foley.  So from someone who still is relevant, he is disturbed not just by his actions, but his alliance with Heyman.

Punk said it goes both ways and tells everyone to show him respect, which is met with boos.  As always, it's typical of Mick to have no idea what he's talking about.  Mick wonders if he didn't, as he used to be a Paul Heyman guy himself.  He says you need to make your journey yourself and he didn't become somebody until he started making decisions on his own.  Punk gets it, Paul Heyman is slime, a liar, stay away from Paul Heyman.  That isn't what Mick meant.  He was told that Heyman would rather climb a tree to tell a lie than stand on the ground and tell the truth.  He doesn't agree with that as Heyman never lied to Foley.  But Heyman is just out for Heyman.  He questions why Punk, one of the best on the mic, needs a mouth piece. Foley asks Punk if he's going to continue to be an inspiration in WWE or a Kool-Aid drinker.  What is Kool-Aid, exactly?  Anyway, Punk asks if they were done.  Foley says if we're done talking about Heyman, they can talk about something Foley is very familiar with: Hell in a Cell.  Not one day in the last 14 days did Foley ask people for respect.  He earned it at King of the Ring 1998.  Anyone who has thrived in HIAC goes on to be respected for their careers.  Don't believe him?  Ask Shawn Michaels, ask Triple H.. ask The Undertaker.

Punk says that was a brilliant speech and asks if he wants the old CM Punk.  If he wants the voice of the voiceless.  Foley wants Punk to step up and show everyone why he's the best in the world by stepping into HIAC by John Cena.  Punk asks if that's what everyone wants.  Apparently.  Punk says he has heard that before from Cena but look at him now.  WWE Champion. What makes the veterans say they see something of themselves in him.  You know what would be more embarrassing than Bret Hart punching him out?  If Punk put his hands on Foley.  Like all of these people, Foley is beneath Punk.  The only thing Punk has done is told the truth.  He wonders how many times he needs to beat Cena is to prove he's the best int he world.  The one thing he doesn't need to do, is anything for them (the audience).  He says Foley put himself through hell for the adulation of these people.  The only thing Punk wants out of them is to bring them to their knees.  Punk said he will be doing that with a microphone, not with a brutal match like HIAC.  Foley got his respect by putting himself through hell.  Punk gets his through his title reign of 309, 310, 311 days etc.  Foley gives Punk a number. 29.  A total of cumilitive days Foley held the title through all three of his reigns.  Foley gets fired up and asks Punk if he wants to be a statistic, or does he want to be a legend?  He spoke to AJ and Foley said that Punk has given the opportunity to have the match with John Cena at Hell in a Cell or not.  Foley asks Punk to think about it good and hard, and to make the right decision for himself, for Foley and for the audience.  Have a nice day.

Great promo by Foley.  Lots of people don't know how to control the flow of a promo unlike Foley.  Start off slow, get the groundwork going and then get fired up as you make your point.  Fantastic.  Not that I'm a pro, but I am a pro-watcher so screw you!  Ad break.

Miz is out now, no doubt against Ryback, who destroyed the set of 'Miz TV' last week.  That was awful last week, although Miz's reaction to Ryback's destruction was great.  Ryback intimidates Miz in the corner, but Miz hits back with punches, before getting knocked down by Ryback.  "Get in there", says Ryback as he shoves Miz in the corner, followed by shoulders to the gut.  Massive throw across the over side.  Up on the shoulders does Miz go on Ryback, but Miz squirms out and goes for his backbreaker/neckbreaker combo.  Ryback lifts Miz back up (from that position?! Daymn) and hits a pumphandle slam. Ryback slams the back of Miz's head against the mat, who rolls out the ring.  Miz is chased by Ryback who tries to go back in the ring.  Ryback grabs Miz's feet but Miz shoves Ryback into the security wall.  Ryback picks Miz up and throws him back in the ring.  Miz capitalises with a kick to the face and DDT for 2.  Powerbomb from Ryback, that Cole calls a spinebuster.  Moron.  Ryback sets up for his stiff clothesline as a fan tries to get in the ring.  What a knob.  Ryback hits Shell Shocked for the win.  IC Championship at HIAC, much?

We're back to the diner where Bryan and Kane are sat down eating with one another.  Funny already watchking Kane but salt on his food.  Bryan can't believe Shelby is making them sit there until they work out their differences.  Kane agrees as he says they can never be friends.  Bryan says it is too bad as they destroyed everyone on Smackdown!  Did Kane hear their screams in pain?  Kane said it was fantastic.  AHAHAHAHAHA!  Okay, I had to pause 'cause I was laughing too much to type.  As Kane and Bryan were going through hitting the rest of the tag team division with chairs, they were getting more and more excited, like in When Harry Met Sally.  That scene.  Ahahaha.  Hahaha. Haha.  Okay I didn't laugh that much.  Mae Young finishes it with the line "I'll have what their having".  That was awesome.

Back from break, AJ with four refs.  She said the refs are the backbone of this business.  She says everyone makes mistakes and it's okay.  She tells them to go out and have a great rest of the show.  ADR, Otunga and Rodriguez turn up.  AJ knows ADR is upset about NOC, and ADR mistakingly thinks he is getting another shot at the WHC.  As all three men are victims of the Brogue Kick, they get revenge.  She has made a 6-man tag match with ADR, Otunga and Rodriguez vs. Sheamus, Mysterio and Sin Cara.  ADR is mad about this, but Rodriguez gets pumped and skips away.

Wade Barrett!  BOOOOOM!  I love this man.  So, he was from Manchester and he's now from Preston.  Right.  Tyson Kidd is Barrett's opponent.  Sorry Kidd, you're supremely talented but I can't wait for Barrett to beat you severely.  Kidd starts with a dropkick and kicks to the leg.  More kicks tto the mid-section and face followed by a quick dropkick for a 2 count.  We want something from the crowd.  Big kick to the gut by Barrett and clothesline to follow it up.  He ties Kidd up in the ropes, like the reverse of Sheamus to hit knees to the gut.  Running big boot to Kidd sends him to the floor as Barrett smugly looks to the audience.  Barrett shoves Kidd into the apron and rolls him in the ring before shouting at the front row.  Kidd coutners with a shoulder and roll up for 2.  Barrett, annoyed, hits the Winds of Change sidewalk slam.  If I can remember that, Cole, why can't you?  I'm hating on Cole today for some reason.  Barrett hits 'The Souvenir', his new elbow-strike finisher.  Barrett should be in the title picture at the latest next year.  Jerry Lawler interview next.

Cole is in the ring as he tells everyone about the unfortunate event 2 weeks ago when Lawler collapsed during Raw.  The Dr. told Cole today that it was an absolute miracle that Lawler is so far along with his recovery considering the serious heart attack he had.  Crowd applaud that.  Good.  Cole introduces Lawler, who gets a big pop from the crowd.  King is sat in a throne.  Hahaha.  Brilliant.  He looks pretty good considering the heart attack.  Lawler has a raspy voice because of the ventilator, but says it is great to be back on Monday Night Raw.  Cole asks Lawler the last thing he remembers from that night.  Lawler remembers the first segment of the show with Hart and Punk.  After that Orton and he had a match agains Ziggler and Punk, but Lawler doesn't remember the match whatsoever.  The thing he remembers from that point is waking up in the hospital.  He thought he was stall in Aruba, where he and his girlfriend had visited 2 weeks prior.  Cole tells Lawler he has received thousands upon thousands of well-wishes from friends, familiy and fans alike.  Lawler is very grateful of the amount of response from everyone.  Cole asks when Lawler is going to be back.  Lawler says that this was just a matter of time, since Raw went from 2 hours to 3 hours, how could anyone sit with Cole for that long without having a heart attack?  He's kidding, of course.  He's leaving his return date up to his doctors.  Cole thanks Lawler, who gets another nice pop from the crowd as his music plays.  "Jerry" chant fires up too.

Otunga is out now, for the 6 man tag match.  That's annoying.  The heels make their entrance, we get an ad break.  The faces make their entrance, we get an ad break.  Cheeky bastards.

Anyway we're back with Otunga trying to throw Sheamus out the ring, who gets thrown out by Sheamus.  Sheamus goes for his chest strikes but ADR and Roddy save Otunga.  Sheamus comes off the apron to knock Otunga down as Mysterio and Cara fly through the ropes to take ADR and Roddy out.  Back in the ring, Otunga is met with a knee to the side of the head by Sheamus, who tags in Cara.  Cara with quick kicks to Otunga but is hit with a vicious elbow.  Roddy tags himself in and is met with a rather lovely arm drag by Cara.  Roddy is a trained wrestler and pretty good from my understanding.  He sold the arm drag very well anyway.  ADR kicks Cara who is then knocked down by Roddy for a 1 count.  Roddy tags in ADR, who kicks Cara in the face, followed by a snap suplex.  ADR with a headlock following the 1 count.  Sin Cara chant starts.  Cara tries to fight back but is kicked in the gut, followed by a jumping stamp to the back of the head.  ADR tags Roddy back in, who punches Cara in the chest.  Roddy tries to take the mask off but is kicked in the face.  Cara goes for a tilt the whirl armdrag, which almost messes up, but hits it anyway.  Must be hard since Roddy is wearing a shirt but anyway.  ADR and Mysterio in with Mysterio in control.  Kick to the head gets a 2 count for Mysterio.  ADR shoves Mysterio away and charges to be dropped by Rey.  Rey goes up top but is met with a jumping enziguiri by ADR. Lovely.  PTP are backstage looking on.  Otunga in now hits a stalling scoop slam.  He tags Roddy in, who punches Rey to the floor.  He is taking instruction from ADR, who tells him to cover Rey.  Rey tries to fight away but Roddy grabs his legs.  Otunga tags in, and then tags ADR in who hits a running kick to the back of Rey for a 2 count.  Rear chin lock by ADR.

Rey eventually fights out but ADR beats him down.  ADR goes for a sunset flip but Rey rolls through and hits a dropkick.  Rey gets the hot tag to Sheamus as Otunga is also tagged in.  Sheamus hits his axe handles and goes for his steam roller.  Sheamus goes for a Brogue but Otunga avoids and tags in roddy, who doesn'[t want to be in.  Sheamus brings Roddy in the hard way and hits his clubbing blows to the chest.  Sheamus gets Rey in who hits the 619.  ADR goes for a powerbomb on Rey who hits a hurricanrana.  Sheamus tags in Cara who comes off the rope and gets the 3 count.  Okay, Rey came in ILLEGALLY.  Why did the ref not do anything about that?  Damn cheaters.  Not to mention a ring announcer being one of the members of the heel team.  How is that fair?  Gawsh.

Post match, Rey and Cara encourage Sheamus to Brogue Kick Otunga.  No need for that, is there?

We're back from the break back to the diner.  Shelby is sat with Bryan and Kane.  There's silence as Shelby then says they have made tremendous progress.  There is one final p;iece of identity therapy.  He calls over the waitress who gives them some food.  Bryan gets some meat and Kane gets a salad.  Kane sniffs the lettuce leaf as Bryan inspects the meat ball.  Kane eats the leaf as Bryan hesitantly nibbles at the meatball.  Shelby asks Kane how he feels.  Kane responds with a massive burp.  He asks Bryan how he felt.  It wasn't as bad as he thought, but starts convulsing.  Shelby kept shouting no at Bryan, so he wouldn't throw up.  Bryan vomits in Shelby's lap as Kane asks for the tip.  Brilliant as usual.

Cole is at ringside as he asks people to vote on three team names for Kane and Bryan.  I hate all three of those.  Team Teamwork, Team Hell no and Team Friendship.  All wank.

Bryan is out now for the unveiling of this team's name.  What's wrong with Kane and Bryan?  Bryan is shouting no at the audience as usual.  I only just got Team Hell No.  Wow.  Which incidentally won, which my wife guessed correctly.  Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow attack the tag team champions.  Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow introduce themselves as the next champions as 'Rhodes Scholar'.  That's cool with me, although they seem to be ignoring the current division and creating a new tag division on top of the old one.

Layla and Alicia Fox are out next to face Eve and Beth Phoenix.  Thank God, Phoenix is here.  Layla hits a sneak attack on Phoenix.  She hits her hop-up crossbody for a 2 count and tags in Alicia.  Layla hits that spinning facebuster and a dropkick by Alicia.  Alicia dodges Stratus style and hits a dropkick.  Roll up by Alicia for two.  Pumphandle slam by Phoenix, boo ya.  Foot buried in the face of Alicia followed by a slingshot suplex.  Eve tags herself in and hits her finisher for the win.  Unsurprisingly quick match.  Hopefully this will cause some more animosity between Beth and Eve.  Kaitlyn's music hits.  Lyn thanks Eve for the 'twit's she gave her when getting well.  She scored the security footage of the attack from NOC.  She couldn't see the face but saw the hair of the attacker, who was blond.  Beth is denying it.  She turns round to receive a neckbreaker from Eve.  At least there's a bit more intrigue for the Divas, I guess?

The Funkasaurus is out next.  I'm sick of him, I won't lie.  Great talent for his size, but the gimmick is annoying now.  His opponent is Tensai, another big-man-failure.  Did I say that outloud?  No, I typed it.  Collar and elbow tie up by the two men.  They break it up and Tensai hits an uppercut followed by headbutts in the corner.  Albertensai charges Brodus but gets a headbutt for his troubles.  Brodus splahes Tensai and hits the T-Bone suplex on Tensai.  That was impressive.  Brodus goes for a splash but misses.  Tensai goes for a splash but misses.  Big Show makes a surprise entrance.  Nice to see you, Mr. Paul.  He gives a WMD to Tensai.  Brodus ain't happy about that and charges Big Show, who knocks him out.  Big Show looks out, shrugs, and walks off.  Simple, yet effective.

John Cena is out now, for something.  He doesn't talk to the camera this time, 'cause he's hurting.  He carefully makes his way to the ring.  I genuinely hope he gets better as soon as possible, but he looks to be milking it a bit.  Lawler looks better than Cena does.  After a pause, Cena acknowledges the mixed reaction from the fans.  Cena wasn't supposed to be here, but with his future now in question he wanted to say thank you in person.  He personally wanted to thank them for their support of Rise Above Cancer.  He says to the world that the WWE Universe are a very powerful group of people.  "Cena" chant fires up.  He said he is here tonight to apologise to the two refs recently been tied up in controversy.  He apologises for CM Punk being a douchebag.  He says Punk has grossly misquoted Cena.  Cena told Punk that if he walked in and out of Boston with the championship, it would define who he is.  Cena said he was right, he said Punk has turned into just another guy.  Cena uses lots of non-swearing swear words to describe Punk.  He then apologises for this:  We have a lot of fun Monday Night, you boo, you cheer and every monday night is crazy because of you.  Another small Cena chant.  The fact that Cena has to sit on the bench for a little while quite frankly sucks.  Cena makes a guarentee.  He is not going to guarantee his recovery, but he will guarantee that he will walk into Hell in a Cell to fight.  Tonight, in front of the world, he guarantees that at Hell in a Cell, CM Punk.

Punk interrupts, with Heyman who is holding the belt high and proud.  Punk is staring down a little kid.  He is staring down all the kids in the front row.  He goes to give a kid a high five but keeps moving his hand away. So unbelievably harsh, but brilliant, too.  It's a show, kids.  They'll embrace said kid when the show is over, I'm sure.  Punk is clapping.  He pulls out a mic like it were a sword.  Beautiful speech, Punk says.  He said it's similar to what he hears every 4 years from politicians.  He said Cena should run for president, because he's missed his calling as a politician.  He wants to call into question Punk's integrity?  He doesn't buy all the crap Cena shovels.  The people of Albany, a dump by the way, might buy it, but Punk doesn't.  There's only one Punk, Cena knows him well, since he has beat him multiple times.  He mentions Punk's 10th longest reign, which won't end anytime soon, especially by the hand of a one-armed man.  Cena tells him to shut up and just face him at HIAC and see what happens.  Punk isn't accepting his challenge because Cena constantly gets title shots and no one else does, which isn't fair.  A good point, to be fair.  The main reason CM Punk isn't facing Cena (CM Punk chant starts, which causes Punk to pause.. then they boo).  Punk tells the audience to shut up and he will put them all in their place once he puts Cena in his, so get in line, Albany. Punk says Cena wouldn't be medically cleared to compete at HIAC, not because of his current injury, but because of what Punk ois going to do.  He said talking to the most dangerous man in the WWE like that is stupid, let alone when he only has one arm.  He has one piece of advice for Cena: Run, right now, while you can.  Punk is going to turn his back, count to 5 and if Cena is still there, with his pink attire and broken arm, Punk is going to hurt him.  And it will seem like the last 8 days will be a picnic compared to the 8 months of recovery from a beating by Punk.  He demands respect.  He has til 5.  Punk backs away and slowly turns around.  Heyman is holding the belt up to the audience.  Punk starts to countdown as Cena pulls out a tube from his pocket.  Cena isn't moving.  Punk turns around and gets hit in the gut by the lead pipe.  Real men wear pink, says Cena, and says he hopes to see Punk at Hell in a Cell.  Now that's what I call a pipe bomb, says Cena as Punk is doubled over at the top of the ramp with his belt.  Cena goes over to the announce desk as he shakes the hands of Cole and JR, as well as some audience members.

Punk is shown backstage spluttering as he walks past Foley.  He gives him evils, then turns back to attack him.  He says "You know what, Mick?" and kicks him to the floor.  He begins to walk away, turns around again but is stopped in his tracks as he sees Ryback standing there.  I so wanted it to be The Undertaker.  Wishful thinking on my part, I think.  And that ends Raw.  I hope you enjoyed it.  I thought it was pretty cool.  See you next week!

Tuesday, 18 September 2012

Raw Review 17/09/12

Welcome to my second Monday Night Raw Review.

We're greeted by Michael Cole, live from Bridgeport Conneticut as CM Punk makes his entrance.  Oh, correction, we're met by Paul E. Dangerously.  Ring ropes are still white, pink and white to support Breast Cancer.  Good for them.  Paul introduces himself, saying that last night he witnessed history as he got to see CM Punk successfully defend the WWE Championship against John Cena.  Crowd boo, which Paul acknowledges, saying the finish was embroiled in controversy.  So, for the interest of clarity, Heyman asks the ref Chad Patton to come out and defend his decision.  Patton comes out to some boos.  Paul thanks Patton, and shows him a photo of him counting both men's shoulders to the mat.  He says everyone's been on Patton's case and that everyone loves to be a critic, especially John Cena.  He says that Patton made the right decision, to which Patton agrees.  Heyman and Punk admire that decision, naturally. Heyman shows a fan-made video that was on youtube, but was taken down, which Heyman thinks Cena was behind.  The footage is of another angle of the super German suplex and the pinfall.  Heyman says that match was clearly a tie, therefore the decision goes to the champion.  So, for the 302nd consecutive day, your WWE Champion is CM Punk.  CM Punk is now worthy of your respect, which you still refuse to give.  Enter Cena.

Pop for Cena, who points to the ramp with the Breast Cancer logo to it and nods.  Fair play to him, he's a good egg, that Cena.  Paul is quickly interrupted by Cena who tells him to shut up.  He agrees with Heyman in that Patton made the right call.  Cena stops mid-sentence as the crowd yell "Cena sucks".  He says that he didn't take the youtube video down, he can't even turn on his phone.  He has no hard feelings towards Patton, and yes they had words last night, but it wasn't about the decision.  It was the finality of the decision. He says the PPV last night was epic, his ankle is hurt and the match was of Wrestlemania proportions.  He said it was like ending the Superbowl in a tie and he wanted to see who would actually win.  He asks the audience, who agrees with him.  He asks if he thinks Heyman has earned respect over a tie.  Heyman simply answers with 'yes'.  The crowd also chant yes.  Cena seems to think it was no.  He says yours and CM Punk's version of respect is different than his.  He says you don't earn respect by hitting someone with the belt after a tie.  He says you earn it by beating anyone on any given night so you can stand in the ring and say "best in the world!"   Surely Punk has done that since he's 300+ days as champ?  Anyway, Cena wants a rematch.  They have Cena, they have a ref, all they need is CM Punk and we can have a rematch tonight.  Heyman is sure Punk would tell Cena straight to his face what he thinks of that... when he gets there tonight. But hearing it from Heyman is just as good, since he is the voice, of the voice, of the voiceless.  Cena is starting to lose his patience as Alberto Del Rio makes his way down the ring.

ADR tells Cena to stop crying about last night.  He said Cena had his chance, and lost, whereas he didn't have a fair match because Booker T reinstated the Brogue Kick seconds before his title match.  He says he wasn't ready for his opponent, which is why if anyone deserves a rematch, it's the man who never lies - Alberto Del Rio.  AJ Light's it Up as she skips down to, and round, the ring.  AJ Lee, speaking on behalf of Booker T, says they both deserve a second chance.  She is going to take the two main events from last night and combine them to make a SUPER MAIN EVENT.  It'll be Punk and ADR vs Sheamus and Cena.  Shocker.  She said the winner would be a great way of determining who gets a rematch, and who will be in it.  She skips off, with Paul Heyman, annoyed, following her.

Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio walking back stage having a natter.  They'll be in tag team action next as we hit ad break number 1.

I would've preferred a Fatal 4-Way for the 'Super' main event, because tag team main events a still common, even without Teddy Long's direct influence.  Overall, a good opener.  Cena has always been a good promo man and Heyman is the master, so it would've been difficult for this to be bad.

We're back with Primo, Epico and Rosa Mendes.  Michael Cole informs us that Jerry Lawler has returned to his home in Memphis, which is awesome.  He also shows us the 'Tout' Jerry sent out 3 days after his heart attack.  He's a badass.  Next week there'll be an interview with Lawler, likely by satellite.

JBL is back on commentary following is great job last night at NOC.  Jolly good.  And joining them, JR! JR! JR! JR! JR!  I knew JR was coming back but I love that man oh so much.  I'm not a huge fan of three-men commentary teams, but JR is the man, and JBL is a fantastic heel commentator, too.

Mysterio out first, followed by Sin Cara.  This match should be quicker than a hiccup.  Sin Cara and Primo start off with a beautiful jumping, spinning arm drag by Cara as he makes the quick tag to Mysterio.  They do a Hardy Boyz-esque double team with a cover for two.  Cara tagged back in who, with Mysterio give simultaneous kicks to the chest and back of Primo while JR wonders if Rosa does Epico and Primo's taxes.  Good ol' JR.  Ad break number 2.

We're back with Epico with a front face lock on Sin Cara before tagging in Primo.  Headlock using Cara's arms by Primo, who gets thrown over Cara's shoulders.  Cara goes for a tag but Primo stops him, who gets a tornado DDT off the ropes.  Both men down.  Hot tag to Mysterio as Primo tags Epico.  Wheelbarrow armdrag followed by a kick and a two count.  Mysterio picks up the pace as he gives Epico a hurricanrana, Cara does the same to Primo as Mysterio gives them a stereo 619, followed by a seated senton to Primo on the outside.  Cara hits the Swanton Bomb on Epico for the 1-2-3.

Quick tag team match that saw a lot of tags and good chemistry between Cara and Mysterio.  Pretty good for a TV match.

Mysterio and Cara are attacked post-match by the Prime Time Players.  Darren Young hits his gutbuster finisher while O'Neil hits the Sky High on Mysterio.  They each grab a microphone.  Titus is all fired up as he shouts that they're pissed off that their title shot got taken away from them and that nothing will be taken from them, ever again.  Wow, Darren Young is an idiot.  He repeated exactly what Titus said, but fucked it up.  Titus was really good, actually.  A lot of fire.

They show Kane and Bryan arguing over who the tag team champions is at Night of Champions.  Brilliant.  Kofi and R-Truth get their rematch tonight.  They won't win.

We're back from ad break number 3 with a graphic showing 'Miz TV'.  I guess Mizicho has a new talk show.  Fair enough.

Phoenix is in the ring, with Layla on commentary.  Eve, the new Divas champion, comes out as her opponent.  Eve is all smiles as the announcers give an update on Kaitlyn, saying she doesn't require surgery and she'll be good to go soon.  Eve offers a handshake to Phoenix, who denies it.  That's ma girl.  Headlock by Eve as Phoenix powers out with a knee to the gut.  Eve off the rope rolls over Phoenix RVD-style but gets flattened by Phoenix, followed by punches to the... hair.  More hair punches by Phoenix as the ref tells her to give her space.  Phoenix goes for the Glam Slam but Eve counters with a kick.  A small "Let's go Phoenix" chant starts.  Good.  Eve whipped in the corner is splashed and thrown to the opposite side.  Eve avoids Beth, shoves her in the turnbuckle and rolls her up for the upset victory.  She grabs her title and holds it up high in front of Layla, who stands up to meet her and a stare down.  Eve skips away, smiling at Layla as she looks on.

Ad break number 4.  It was nice to see Phoenix get more TV time, I just hope she is inserted into the title picture soon.

Brodus Clay makes his entrance with the two dancers.  I guess what's her face didn't get fired for bribing that officer and whatnot.  Double standards, WWE?  Surely not.  Antonio Cesaro with Aksana is on commentary.  Brodus is against Heath Slater, by the way, who doesn't get an entrance.  Clay knocks Heath down early, who counters with a kick to the leg.  Brodus down in the corner is met with strikes from Slater, who targets the legs to put the dinosaur down.  Headlock by Slater with elbows to the neck.  Cesaro calls Clay an embarrassment in 5 languages.  Front face lock on Clay who throws Slater off, followed by a flying forearm, of sorts. Slater whipped into the corner as Cesaro is up on the apron, distracting Clay.  Slater hits some weird move for a two count, then goes to the top.  Slater dives off, gets met by a huge headbutt from Clay, which looked dangerously close to Slater's face.  Clay hits the splash for the win.  Clay celebrates with his funkadactyls and some kids from the audience.  How embarrassing for them.  NEXT.

A dapper-looking Miz walks backstage as Miz TV is next.  Ad break 5.

Miz enters on the stage.  He holds his IC title up.  He asks what do you get when you have an IC champion who has everything?  He says he was against the odds and still win.  He says what do you get a man who does that?  You get him his very own TV show.  Big light-up M, being the W from the WWE logo turned upside down.  Mizfits and Miztakes, welcome to Miz TV.  He says all over shows always missed one thing.  Piper, Edge and Jericho were never as controversial, charismatic or awesome as Miz.  He said he proved his greatness when he beat 3 of the best superstars his guest tonight could through at him.  He welcomes Booker T.

Miz asks Booker how it feels to be the first guest on Miz TV.  Miz doesn't let Booker answer and suggests it's a better moment than any other in his career, including when he was a 5-time, 5-time, 5-time, 5-time, 5-time World Champion.  Wasn't Booker a 6-time World champ?  It is a better moment than his first Wrestlemania.  It's better, no wait it's almost as good as when Miz beat Cara, Mysterio and Rhodes blind-folded to retain his IC Championship.  Miz has a question that's been racking his brain.  Why is Booker against Miz?  Booker T chant starts.  He asks why he put Miz against 3 competitors, why did he ban and then reinstate the Brogue Kick?  He tells Booker why he did those things, because he misses the spotlight.  He says Booker misses being the centre of attention, that it drives him insane knowing his time is over.  Boring chant?  Arrogant crowd.  Booker snatches the mic.  He finds what Miz has said is interesting.  He says Miz likes to talk, a lot.  Booker suggests a new guest for the show, someone who is used to beating lots of competitors at once.  Here comes Ryback.  Miz quickly leaves the ring as Ryback enters, who goes on to destroy the set of Miz TV.  Ryback picks up the sofa over his head and throws it at Miz.  Nice.  Crowd cheers as Miz looks like he pissed himself from the stage.

They reply the Jerry Lawler Tout again.  Ad break 6.

CM Punk talking to Heyman backstage, as Josh Matthews asks Punk if he is looking forward to the main event tonight.  Punk says of course he isn't looking forward to teaming with anyone.  He says he walked in NOC as WWE Champion and walked out as WWE Champion and asks what he has to do around here to get some respect, before swatting the mic away and walking off.

Santino Marella power walks out to the ring, followed by EXCUSE ME?! Vickie Guerrero.  She introduces Mr. Money in the Bank, Dolph Ziggler.  Quick Judo toss by Santino, who surprises himself with it.  Ziggler hits a beautiful, powerful dropkick on Santino, and a stomp to the chest.  Santino off the ropes, starts power walking, much to the confusion of Ziggler who stops him mid-way "Hey!".  Santino surprises Ziggler with a Jacknife pinning combintation for a two count.  Ziggler puts Santino down with a neckbreaker.  "Let's go Ziggler" chant starts as Ziggler hits a jumping elbow on Santino for two.  Ziggler takes the Cobra from Santino's attire and rubs it in his face, calling Santino and idiot and a joke.  Ziggler goes to punch Santino who blocks it and begins to fight back before being hit with a forearm by Ziggler.  Ziggler with a cocky pin gets a two and begins teeing off on Santino.  Santino blocks a punch and comes back with punches of his own before getting fired up with his moveset.  Splits, armdrag and headbutt.  He goes for the Cobra but realises it's not there.  Vickie has it, who Santino tries to get it off before Ziggler hits the Zig Zag.  Ziggler doesn't cover, instead picks Santino up again and hits another Zig Zag for the 1-2-3.  Post-match, Vickie shoves the Cobra down Santino's throat.

Standard Santino comedy match.  Not an awful lot to say, other than I liked Ziggler's aggression.  There was no need to slap on another Zig Zag, but he did.  Why?  Because he can.

They show Wade Barrett (my God) from last Friday.  He explains what he meant by the Barrage being open for business.  He says next week some lucky person will be lucky enough to sample the product.  He says after that, business will be booming.  I freakin' love Wade Barrett.  He's out now.  Did they bill him from Preston, England? I hope so, my Dad's from there.

Ex-Nexus buddy Justin Gabriel is out next, who is now an Anime character, apparently.  Justin with kicks to the leg and shows his agility with two quick pins on Wade.  Justin up to the top misses Wade who kicks him in the gut.  We want Nexus?  Is that what they're saying? Both men outside as Barret shoves Gabriel into the barrier.  He uses the ring post to pull on Gabriel's ribs.  BOOM! I love it.  Gabriel in the corner eats punches from Barrett who is  then whipped in the opposite corner.  Backbreaker followed by elbow to the jaw and a 2 count.  Barrett with punches to the ribs and then the head top put Gabriel down.  2 count again for barrett followed by an abdominal stretch on the mat.  Gabriel fights out and drops Wade on the middle turn buckle. A series of kicks by Gabriel knocks Wade to his knees, who fights back with a massive punch to the ribs.  Wade goes for the pumphandle but is countered by Gabriel who hits a top rope Lionsault an a 2 count.  More strikes by Gabriel who misses and gets Flapjacked by Barrett.  Thanks for coming Gabriel, but Barret hits his pull-in knock out punch for the win.  Now that's a knock out punch, Big Show.

I hope Barrett is thrust into the main event sooner than later.  As JBL said, he's got champion written all over him.  Ad break 7 or 8, I wasn't paying much attention to the numbers.

R-Truth and Kofi are backstage.  R-Truth is wearing a party hat, and shouts "Happy Birthday!"  Some dude from Subway says it's Subway's birthday.  Jarrett from Subway?  I dunno.  American thing, I guess.  Little Jimmy tells R-Truth what he wants in a sandwich.  The dude gives them, including Little Jimmy a Subway and they walk off.  Sandow turns up, suggesting a new Subway called The Sandow.  He's awesome.  The dude suggests a Meatball Marinara.  Sandow is okay with it, and says "You're Welcome" before walking off.  Ryder turns up and suggests a sandwich called the "Woo Woo Woo You Know It" Sub.  The dude suggests something else.  He turns round to see Ryback.  Feed. Me. More.  He gives him a sub.  Ryback grabs a second and walks off.

Sheamus is shown talking to Cena, talking about his match with ADR.  Cena looks distracted.  Sheamus asks if he's okay, he says yes and says they both can't just win, they need to make a statement.  Sheamus has no doubt they'll win and suggests afterwards they go to the pub and drink pints celebrating a load of stuff.

D-Bry is backstage shouting that he's the tag team champions.  It then switches to Kane doing the same.  I like to believe they've been doing that since NOC and haven't eaten, drank or slept since.  Ad break 9, probably.

They show actual footage of Lawler who steps off the plane in Memphis.  He hugs the doctor who saves his life.  That's nice, he then gets in a car after waving to the camera.

Kofi and R-Truth are out for their rematch for the Tag Team Championship.  D-Bry out first who gets a pretty big pop.  He rips up a sign as he yells No at the crowd.  I guess Anger Management wore off.  Kane's out next.  Bryan and Kane are arguing again.  The Crowd are loudly chanting yes as they argue over who is going to start the match.  Bryan: "You started last time!", so Bryan starts first as a small "Hug it Out" chant starts.  This is the most surprisingly awesome thing ever.  Kofi and Bryan start with a headlock by Bryan followed by a shoulder knock down.  Fast pace so far as Kofi jumps over Bryan twice as he bounces off the rope followed by a jumping back elbow.  Quick tag to K-Kwik, hur hur, but Bryan takes control.  He goes to tag Kane and shouts No!  R-Truth tags Kofi who gives Bryan a Crossbody.  Bryan kicks out of the pin attempt and gives Kane a hard tag.  Kane and Kofi dance about a bit before Kofi hits Kane with kicks.  Kane throws Kofi in the corner like his big brother would and beats Kofi down.  Kofi whipped to the corner hops over Kane and hits with kicks, but Kane hits him with a knee.  Kofi whipped to the rope, hangs on and sends Kane over the top.  Bryan charges Bryan who is also sent over the top and onto Kane.  They both stare at each other and start arguing, Bryan shouting "I was trying to help you!" as we hit ad break 10.

We're back with R-Truth in a bearhug by Kane.  R-Truth fights out with punches but gets pushed into the corner.  Kane follows it up with an attempted clothesline but eats R-Truth's boot.  R-Truth hits a missile dropkick and gets the tag to Kofi.  Kofi enters with a springboard punch and a dropkick.  He then jumps, balls first into Kane's face and hits punches.  He tries to whip Kane out but Kane over-powers him.  Kofi counters with a kick to the face and a frogsplash cross body for 2.  Kofi kicks Kane in the face and goes for the Boom Drop.  He sets Kane up for the Trouble in Paradise but Kane steps away and goes for a chokeslam.  Kofi goes for a crossbody but eats a throat thrust uppercut by Kane.  Kane signals for the chokeslam but Bryan tags himself in.  They start shoving each other but the ref tells Kane to get out, which he does.  Kofi tags R-Truth who hits the Lie Detector on Bryan.  R-Truth does a dance and hits the inverted suplex (I think?) and a 2 count.  R-Truth hits Bryan in the ear and face before tagging Kofi.  R-Truth with a scoop slam to Bryan, then Scoop Slam's Kofi onto Bryan for a 2.  Kofi with a key lock armbar?  I don't know, I'm guessing.  R-Truth tagged back in and a double Russian Leg Sweep.  Two count for R-Truth followed by a headlock.  Kane is yelling at Bryan, telling him to "do something".  Bryan back to his feet with elbows to the gut of R-Truth but is dropped onto the middle turnbuckle by Bryan.  Kane is yelling for a tag and gets one.  He enters with a flying clothesline and dropkick to the face.  Kane is amazing considering his size. A 7-foot difference maker.  I love JR.  Sidewalk Slam by Kane, looking for a Chokeslam again.  Bryan goes to tag himself in again but is caught in the act.  Bryan backtracks but gets choked by Kane.  Bryan hangs Kane out on the ropes and gets hit by R-Truth's finisher.  The Little Jimmy?  Bryan breaks up the count and gets taken out by Kofi.  Kane hits a chokeslam on Truth and gets tagged in by Bryan who slaps the No Lock on R-Truth, who taps out.  Bryan and Kane retain the titles.

I love the dynamic between these two.  I hope they stick it out for a while and try not to rush anything.  The backstage segments are entertaining and their matches are just as good, not just because of their individual talent, but because you have no idea when they will completely flip out on each other.  They argue post-match over who the Tag Team Champions is.  Bryan tries to compose himself as Kane holds both titles up.  A "Hug it out" chant starts.  Bryan suggest they give the people what they want.  Bryan encourages Kane, with arms wide open.  Kane puts both belts on his shoulders and gives Bryan a big hug.  As they separate Bryan takes one of the belts and they are both to yelling at each other.  Brilliant.

They show the B.A. Star anti-bullying thing in Bridgeport with The Big Show, Otunga and Stephanie McMahon.  I have much respect for WWE for doing this stuff but, fast forward. Orton is up next as we hit another ad break.

Orton is smirking as he slowly walks to the ring.  He looks over his shoulder before getting in the ring.  He's on the cover of the WWE magazine, being called an Anti-Superstar.  Wonderful.  His opponent is "The Failed Experiment", Tensai.  Borderlands 2 looks to be awesome.  Collar and elbow tie-up sends Tensai in the corner as Orton dodges strikes.  Tensai chokes Orton into the corner but Orton fights out with punches.  Tensai shoves him and htis a back elbow, but is met with punches but Orton and a spinning back elbow from Orton, too.  Surprising.  Tensai in control in the corner with headbutts to the head and ribs of Orton.  Another boring chant?  More shots by Tensai to the ribs and kidneys of Orton.  Orton counters with punches to the face but eats a knee to the gut by Tensai, who follows it up with a running powerslam.  Headbutts by Tensai and an elbow drop for a two count.  Bearhug by Tensai.  Orton fights back with punches but again is met with a headbutt by Tensai.  Knees to the kidneys by Tensai and slaps the claw on Orton.  Orton looks to be laughing... silly boy.  Shots to the large gut of Tensai and a snap powerslam by Orton on Tensai.  Impressive considering Tensai's size.  Orton sells the rib injury by not covering and goes for the rope DDT, which he hits after kicking the crap out of Tensai.  Randy still sells the kidney pain, which is good.  He is setting Tensai up for the RKO but Tensai pushes him away into the corner and follows through, but Orton dodges, Tensai hits the turnbuckle and eats an RKO for the win for Orton.

A very slow TV match that didn't get much of a reaction until the RKO.  Tensai could've been great on paper but it just hasn't really worked for the man formerly known as Albert. Ad break.

Backstage ADR, Otunga, Punk and Heyman talk about their match.  Otunga, speaking on ADR's behalf expects Punk to follow his lead tonight.  Heyman, on behalf of the champion, says that CM Punk has been Champ for 303 days now, which means he follows no one's lead.  ADR whispers to Otunga, who points out that it is all irrelevant, because by the looks of Punk, he looks like he sleeps on the street.  Punk whispers to Heyman, who says as a respectful suggestion, perhaps instead of buying all those cars, ADR should be a time machine and go back to last year's Survivor Series where CM Punk defeated Mr. Del Rio for the WWE Title.  CM Punk then says to ADR that he is really looking forward to teaming with him tonight.  ADR says "It will be an honour" and walks off.  Heyman looks confused as he says "What the hell was that?"  CM Punk shrugs.

Sandow is out now with mic in hand.  "Silence the music, I am about to speak!" Brilliant.  He is pleased to announce the season of Sloth, or summer vacation to us, is over.  This the start of his favourite season because it's back to school.  As our saviour and martyr he is going to save us.  He addresses Mr. Ross and says that "Sloberknocker" is not a word.  He suggests some words for this upcoming academic year.  I can't spell what he's saying so I won't embarrass myself.  "Please remain silent as I am speaking, we have a lot to get through.  I am trying to help you." Woo, woo, woo, you know it.  Ryder comes out and acts like an idiot.  I wanted to listen to Sandow thanks very much.  Ryder tells Sandow to shut up in a smart-arse way and announces they have a match.  Ad break.

Back with the match and Ryder hits a flapjack on Sandow before sending him over the top.  Ryder follows him out with a springboard onto Sandow.  Sandow rolled in the ring but kicks out of the pin attempt.  Sandow aggressive with kicks to the ribs followed by a jumping knee drop and a two count.  More knees to the gut of Ryder by Sandow and a two count again.  A second jumping knee drop  by Sandow as he takes a bow before covering for another two.  Headlock by Sandow.  "Let's go Ryder! Woo woo woo" chants fire up.  I've never been on the Ryder bandwagon, personally.  Sandow hits that cool elbow drop that I can't remember the name for with a 2 count.  Shoulder to the gut of Ryder in the corner, who is whipped to the opposite side.  Ryder dodges Sandow and rolls him up for a two.  Small package by Ryder for another two.  Ryder hits two punches but gets a kick by Sandow, who puts Ryder on his shoulders.  Ryder wriggles out and hits a really girly facebuster before a spinning clothesline.  Forearm in the corner sets Sandow up for the Broski Boot.  Sandow, smart, rolls out the ring but Ryder meets him and knocks him down on the floor.  Both men in the ring and Sandow takes advantage with kicks in the corner.  He charges Ryder who lifts both knees up and hits the Broski Boot.  Ryder drags Sandow out but kicks out at two.  Sandow drops Ryder throat-first on the ropes before hitting his neckbreaker finisher for the win.  Even the way he pins his opponents is great.

Not a bad match.  Ryder really is a jobber, isn't he?  Ad break.

Main event time with Sheamus out first. Cena out next, still wearing the Susan G. Konnen attire.  Ricardo Rodriguez introduces ADR as usual.  CM Punk last accompanied by Paul Heyman.  He looks at Heyman's watch to confirm that it's clobbering time.  Heyman does a running high-five at Punk.  Punk talks trash to the fans around the ring.  Paul Heyman for President sign.  Brilliant.  Punk stands in the ring and holds up the WWE title for ages, like he did at NOC.  Simple, yet effective.  He also has his back turned to Cena and Sheamus as he surveys the crowd.  "Let's Go Cena/CM Punk/Cena Sucks" chant goes.  They sound similar.  Punk is still holding the belt up as we go to another ad break.

We're back with CM Punk and Cena in the ring.  CM Punk tags ADR in and goes out to talk to Heyman.  ADR starts with a headlock but Cena falls back to shake him off.  Cena with a headlock of his own but gets a punch in the ribs by ADR followed by a kick sending Cena to the corner.  ADR hits a series of kicks to the gut and a whip that gets reversed to the opposite side.  Monkey Flip by Cena that receives boos.  Slightly unfair but hey.  Sheamus is tagged in to some minor boos.  Sheamus beats ADR down in the corner and throws him to the opposite end.  ADR tries to fight back but gets hit by a Steamroller from Sheamus.  Kick out at 2 by ADR and Cena is tagged in.  ADR kicks Cena and tags CM Punk in who is taken to the corner by Cena.  Bulldog on Punk by Cena.  Punk tries to hang onto the apron but his put into the AA position.  Thumb to the eye by Punk who rolls out for a time out,. Punk back in stopping Cena's face.  He stands on Cena as he taunts the crowd.  Massive Let's Go Cena/Cena Sucks chant.  Tag to ADR who gets a kick to the gut of Cena.  ADR uses the ropes to choke Cena to a count of 4 followed by a cheap punch by CM Punk. Punk tags himself as Cena starts to fight back.  Drop Toe Hold by Punk.  Heyman shouts that Punk is the best in the world, as Cena tags in Sheamus who goes to town on Punk in the corner.  Clothesline knocks Punk down for a two count.  Punk whipped in the corner coutners with an elbow and tag to ADR who kicks Sheamus's face off.  ADR aggressively beating Sheamus and goes for his splat to the floor bump but gets caught up in the rope.  Looked painful but intentional as Sheamus hits his clubbing shots to the chest.  Back in the ring Sheamus hits White Noise and looks to the crowd as he sets up for the Brogue Kick.  ADR to his feet as Punk distracts Sheamus, ADR hits the Backstabber for a 2 count.  ADR chokes Sheamus on the ropes again and tags Punk back in.  Punk stamps on Sheamus and chops him.  Sheamus briefly fights back put Punk puts him down with a dropkick to the knee.  Punk goes for a surfboard stretch on Sheamus.  Sheamus flips on top of Punk and goes for a pin for 2.  Sheamus goes to tag Cena but Punk drags him to his corner, grape vining his legs before tagging ADR in.  ADR with a headlock on Sheamus.  Decent match so far.  Sheamus fights back with punches, bounces off the ropes and meets a knee by ADR.  Cover for 2.  ADR whips Sheamus but gets reversed and Sheamus hits the Irish Curse Backbreaker.  Cena is getting fired up, as is Punk.  Both men get tags.  Cena goes for the shoulder blocks, and the spinning suplex.  Cena goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle but CM Punk tries to kick Cena, who blocks it and slaps on the STF.  ADR interferes but eats a Brogue Kick.  Clothesline by Punk to Sheamus who then turns around to get his Attitude Adjusted.  Three count by the ref but CM Punk very clearly had his foot on the rope.  Ref apparently didn't see it.  CONSPIRACY.

Punk and Heyman are arguing with the ref, showing him Punk's foot on the rope.Punk stops the ref from leaving.  Heyman is trying to get CM Punk to calm down.  CM Punk is still yelling at the ref as they go to the back and they end the show.  Kind've lackluster in terms of impact but I guess it can drag over to next week, which is the point.

Thanks for reading this week.  I hope it wasn't too boring, I'm still getting used to this writing shtick.  I'll have more posts in the week no doubt, depending on what pops in my fragile little mind.  See you soon!

Monday, 17 September 2012

Night of Champions 2012 Thoughts

So, it turns out I watched a few matches from Night of Champions this morning.  I watched it in reverse, starting with the WWE Championship match.

And what a match it was.  We know, based on their previous matches that these two have great chemistry to make their matches feel huge, and this one was no disappointment.  I was massively looking forward to this, and was slightly worried I'd over-hype it for myself, but fortunately this wasn't the case.  Both men delivered a phenomenal 4.5/5 star match.

Both guys hit their finishers twice, and both men kicked out twice.  They also slapped on both their respective submissions and again both men fought out.  The counters were fantastic which, particularly in the final 10 minutes, saw some fast-paced, dramatic action.  Heyman played his role perfectly, as he didn't take any attention from the match, but his facial expressions helped increase the drama as only he can.

The finish was unexpected, as both men's shoulders were on the mat for the 3 count, resulting in a draw.  I also never expected the super German suplex from Cena, but I marked out for it, because I love the German suplex.  Cena's reaction and Punk's sneak attack with the belt tied this match up in a nice little bow that should see this rivalry continue moving forward.  I'm okay with that as these guys know what they're doing.

I'm not a Cena hater, but I do have my issues as most do, with his overexposure, but the man knows how to main event and, paired with someone of the caliber of CM Punk, you know you're in for a damn good match.

The second match I watched was the Kane/Bryan vs Kofi/Truth match for the Tag titles.  This was awesome, too, but for different reasons.  It wasn't the greatest tag team match you will ever see, but the comedy moments as well as Kane/Bryan's phenomenal chemistry is what made this stand out.  Kane and Bryan are the new tag team champions, because Bryan shoved Kane off the top rope, who in turn splashed Kofi for the 3 count.  That's payback for Kane chokeslamming Bryan for the win on Raw, which is fair enough.  Their argument at the end over who was the Tag Team Champions was fantastic.

I know there was a backstage segment involving them, but unfortunately I didn't get to watch it, as my connection timed out.  I only saw the first few minutes of the Ziggler/Orton match, but I expect that was great as these guys are two of the best workers in the biz.

Results below, with my predictions (I don't usually do well) and reactions to said results.

The Miz (champion) vs Rey Mysterio vs Sin Cara vs Cody Rhodes for the Intercontinental Championship:

I went with Rhodes to win, but Miz retained.  I'm very happy with this, as Miz hasn't had it long, nor has he had much attention with it, since he seems to be the fourth wheel in this 3-way rivalry between the other gents.

Kofi Kingston and R-Truth vs Kane and Daniel Bryan (team friendship) for the Tag Team Championship:

Kane and D-Bry retain, as I mentioned further up.  It was pretty reasonable to think that they would.  I didn't know what to think of this Team Friendship between Kane and D-Bry, as I was worried about other legit tag teams being left out.  But, after the Anger Management skits, as well as their in-ring chemistry, I am totally sold.  I'd love to see D-Bry in the main event again, but if this keeps up, I'm perfectly happy for him to stay where he is for the time being.

Antonio Cesaro (champion) vs Zack Ryder for the United States Championship:

I've stated before that I don't particularly care for the US belt.  The WWE hasn't really helped that, so my prediction here was Cesaro to retain (which he did) so he could build himself, and the Championship up.  I wasn't expecting Ryder to win.  He may be over with the fans, but for whatever reason, the powers that be clearly don't have much faith in him.

Randy Orton vs Dolph Ziggler:

Randy Orton defeated Dolph Ziggler to retain.. nothing.  That was weird, considering it's Night of Champions and everything must be defended.  Having Ziggler's MITB briefcase up for grabs would've made this interesting and have Ziggler go over Orton since Orton isn't going to be around for a while (filming 12 Rounds: Reloa-zzzzzz).  Also that would've meant my prediction of Ziggler winning would've been right.

Layla (champion) vs Kaitlyn for the Divas Championship:

I prefer Women's Championship but there we go.  I guessed Layla would retain since I still think Kaitlyn is ridiculously green.  Of course, that didn't happen because Eve found that Kaitlyn was injured (I wonder how?) so she took her place, and became the new Divas Champion.  I'm okay with that as it actually gives a fairly compelling story.

Sheamus (champion) vs Alberto Del Rio for the World Heavyweight Championship:

I didn't see this match, I wasn't that bothered to be honest.  Sheamus retained the belt as I guessed.  Fairly easy one.  Hopefully this is the last Sheamus/ADR match.  Not much else to say.  This had the strongest story going in, in my opinion but I hope it can be put to bed now.  Let's move on.

CM Punk (champion) vs John Cena for the WWE Championship:

I've already written my thoughts on this, but I predicted Cena would win.  I'm very happy that Punk walked away and hope he can keep hold of it until at least the Royal Rumble to take on The Rock.  This makes Punk even more compelling for me, for the same reasons The Miz was when he was Champion.  Because Punk has held the title for so long, you would expect him to drop it very, very soon.  Hopefully they can drag this out for the rest of the year.  I'd be perfectly happy with that.

Anyway, they're my NOC thoughts.  But what did you think?  If you made it this far through the ramblings, you're strong in spirit, and I thank you.  Raw Review will be up tomorrow at some point.

Sunday, 16 September 2012

Down's Syndrome

I read an article in The Sun (a paper I wouldn't give the honour of wiping my arse with) about a girl of 15 (now 19) who had a child with Down's Syndrome.  The main message is that she kept the child, who she still has to this day and how courageous it is.  I tend to agree and feel as a parent of a child with Down's Syndrome, it was nice that young parents like us get that sort of recognition (90% of babies with Down's Syndrome are aborted. 90%).  It is courageous and it is respectable, I don't care what anyone else thinks.

However, I do feel that this increases the fear people will have about Down's Syndrome.  The very fact that it is a courageous thing to do makes it seem that it is a really big deal.  To be perfectly honest, it isn't.  Yes, Down's Syndrome, like Autism, has a spectrum with varying degrees, but who really knows how their child will develop?  The majority of people who have had Down's Syndrome babies will tell you they are the best babies to have, especially if you are a new parent.  Why?  In my still fairly new experience I can confidently say that since we took Lillie home from the hospital she has slept all the way through the night.  Sure, a couple of times she woke up, but my wife and I rarely get an interrupted nights rest and I love to brag about that.  Fortunately this hasn't effected her development as we once feared, as it is common to have a baby screech at 2am, hungry for food.  Down's Syndrome people are also some of the most loyal, loving people you will ever know.  This of course, can make them vulnerable, and they are classed as such.

Now, my wife and I never planned on going to baby groups and clubs, unless we could see the benefit it would give Lillie.  We're not particularly coffee morning with strangers type of people, which isn't to say we're not friendly.  I personally don't like the idea of having clubs with parents who have Down's Syndrome children, although I do see and acknowledge the obvious benefits of this.  The ability to be able to ask questions to people who are in the same boat as you is invaluable, but I feel that this is also in dangerous territory of classification.  I don't want Lillie to be defined by her Down's.  I want Lillie to be defined by Lillie.  I took her to the doctors when she was a few months old, because she had a heavy cold (common with Down's) and we were concerned of any signs of a chest infection.  The Dr. was very nice and accommodating and I have no doubt in her ability, but my ears pricked when she called the Hospital to get her referred, as she referenced Lillie as a "Down's baby".  Now, I have no problem with the Dr. letting whoever she was speaking to know that my daughter has Down's, in fact I'd be worried if she didn't, but with two small words she seemed to eliminate my daughter's identity.  She is Lillie, not Down's baby.  Maybe I'm being picky and too defensive but I can see that bothering me for a while.  I'm not ashamed of it or embarrassed or even scared, but I don't want her to be pigeon holed either.  I want her to go to normal schools and to have a normal life.  Sure, if she needs extra help with her academia, or anything else for that matter, I will push to make sure she gets what she needs, but I can't help but fear that people in Lillie's shoes will always be looked at and judged by her Syndrome.  The same goes for Autism, Schizophrenia, Bipolar etc.  Treat the conditions with respect.  Do some research, but know that these are people.  Human beings who have as much right to live a normal life as you do.

 This wasn't intended to be a rant, and I'm not that cynical when it comes to people, but it just seemed to flow out.  If you made it this far, thanks for reading.  I'll post a Raw review tomorrow, follow me on twitter and eat your vegetables.

WWE Championship

Night of Champions is tonight, so what better reason to talk about the most coveted prize in sports entertainment?  I won't be watching the PPV because I'm at work all evening, but I'll check out the results when I finish in the morning.

Before I begin, please follow me on twitter using the link at the end of this post, because I NEED FRIENDS.

There have been a few incarnations of the WWWF/WWF/WWE championship over the years, some lasting longer than others.  For the last 7 years or so, the WWE Championship, then named the Undisputed Championship, had a makeover.  A makeover specifically tailored to the infamous John Cena.  As he was the Dr. of Thuganomics at the time, a Vanilla Ice/Eminem gimmick, he had previously changed the United States Championship by putting a spinner in the middle.  That was fine, since I've never particularly cared for the US belt.  Maybe because I'm English, but pretty much because I never watched WCW, where it originated from.  The same was done for the WWE Championship and, although it no longer spins, the design remained and has done to this day.

Personally, I'm not a fan of it.  I think it looks cheap and tacky and is too busy to be a championship in my opinion.  I know a lot of people agree.  I'm paraphrasing but I read an interview with The Miz a while back who made a fantastic point.  He said that at other American sporting events, fans (and athletes) would have replica belts.. but they were all the World Heavyweight Championship belt, not the WWE Championship.  It could be that they were all WCW fans, but more likely is the fact that the WWE Championship looks like crap.  However, it sells really rather well, as most things affiliated with John Cena do.  Which brings me to my main point of this article.  When will the supposed new Championship design be unveiled, and who will be the one who holds it first?

I would be a fan of a Champion vs. Champion match (which Punk/Sheamus alluded to on the go-home show of Raw) at a big PPV like Wrestlemania or Summerslam to unify the top prize, much like they did for the Undisputed Championship.  However I don't think they will ever unify the belts due to a lack of main event talent.  

The person who does end up getting the belt, through whatever means, is very important.  Triple H was handed the World Heavyweight Championship by Eric Bischoff and he was probably the best man for the job.  Not only did it put him over even more as a heel, but he was, and is, already a very established professional wrestler with many accolades to his name.  If you gave the title to Heath Slater, and nothing against the One Man Band, but it wouldn't come across as a legit title to be taken seriously, would it?  So I am going to pick a few likely candidates that could christen the new WWE Championship, if/when it finally arrives (in no particular order).

The Rock - The Rock is a legendary wrestler, known for being the most Electrifying Man in Sports and Entertainment, he even had a wrestling show named after one of his phrases (Smackdown!).  He is a very credible candidate to give instant momentum to the prestige of a new belt design, his only disadvantage being that he is perhaps more known as an actor rather than a wrestler, which could detract from the belt long-term. 

CM Punk - The Best Wrestler in the World - not many could argue with that statement.  He is certainly the best heel in the WWE and, particularly since the middle of 2011 has sky-rocketed to main event status, and will easily be known as a legend for years to come.  He has talked about receiving a lack of respect from everyone, including the booking team, who since the end of 2011 (NoC not included) have not put the WWE Championship (the most important one) last on the card, devaluing it as well as the person holding it.  This would be Punk's chance of making Cena eat his words by saying that Punk's reign has made that championship irrelevant.  Of everyone on this list, I would prefer Punk of anyone else to be the first man to have it, especially if Heyman is by his side.

John Cena - John Cena is Vince's cash cow.  He has sold a ridiculous amount of merchandise over the years and continues to be popular with WWE's target audience.  They buy the t-shirts, the wrist bands, the caps, and the WWE Championship, because it is affiliated with Cena.  For this reason, from a business standpoint, it would make perfect sense for Cena to be the first man to debut the new design, so kids can associate it with him and buy replicas.  As much as I would love Punk to be the man (as I feel it would advance his current heel persona, giving him reels of material to work from) to hold it first, Cena is probably the most likely to do it.

Triple H - I would be incredibly shocked if Triple H makes himself the first Champ.  Key phrase: makes himself.  As everyone is aware, the COO has real power backstage that is growing more and more as Vince slowly hands the reigns over to him and his wife.  Triple H has been accused many times in the past of politicking to put himself over others, although he is a fantastic worker and certainly one of the best of all times, so could history repeat itself?

Brock Lesnar - I doubt they'd put the strap on Brock, unless they do it next year towards Wrestlemania, where he is more likely to work more dates.  He doesn't need a belt anyway, especially since that in less than a year he'll have moved on.

Randy Orton - Orton is another contender, although since his position on Smackdown! as top baby face, it's unlikely that he'll be in the WWE Championship picture.  Although, after filming the new 12 Rounds he could shift over to Raw, who knows?  I doubt that'll happen since Smackdown! needs the star power.

Chris Jericho - No.  He's committed to Fozzy, which is fair enough, and he's more interested in putting others over, not himself.

I can't think of anyone else who can give the belt some legitimacy.  Notice how four of the seven of the picks are either part time or have departed the company?  That's bad.  I don't think Sheamus is there yet.  He could do with a few more years under his belt (hur!) to get over.  Doesn't matter how many people he Brogue Kicks, these things take time.  D-Bry, again since his amazing awesomeness has only just blessed us in the last year or so could probably do with a few more to take him to the Orton/Cena level.  

Is there anyone I missed (I missed 'Taker on purpose due to obvious reasons) that you think could take the belt to the top?  Do you disagree with any of my picks?  Comment below and/or follow me on @jbrinkleyreview.  If you made it to the end, thanks for reading.  If not, you've not read this part so screw you!  I jest, of course..

Tuesday, 11 September 2012

Raw Review 10/09/12

Welcome to my Raw Review. I apologise if it's... crap, but I'm free-flowing here and writing it live (well, on sky+ because it's on too late and I have a kid to feed, damnit! Or something)

No intro music, instead we're greeted by Canadian wrestling legend, Bret "The Hitman" Hart.

Massive pop as expected.  Man he looks old. First time in 15 years he's been in WWE and Montreal. Is Bret limping? He looks pumped, which is good. Mic in hand. Crowd is still going mad for him, Bret thanks them in English and French. Considerate. "Sheamus are you my daddy?" Weird sign.

Bret mentions how it's been 15 years.  Crowd are STILL going mad for him with "thank you Bret" chants.  Again Bret thanks them in French.  Great audience.  Mentions the screwjob being one of the darkest moments of his life, and thanks the Montreal fans for all the support over the years.  Bret says "God Bless everyone in Montreal" before..

..Look in my eyesss! What do you see?! We see CM Punk.  Punk gets a bit of a mixed reaction.  He'll be getting booed awfully soon.  Haha, a Bret Hart fan is yelling at Punk, Punk's just standing there in front of him. Ha! The fan gives Punk the finger.  Tut tut, cameraman. 

Now there's some boos for interrupting the Hero.  Punk points to Bret as he mentions Bret writing his own book and that his ego isn't big enough to write a book about himself.  But if Punk were to do that, he would call it "What if?", like what if Bret wrestled Punk at Survivor Series 1997 instead of Michaels?  Hart said it wouldn't matter, he would take one minute to slap Punk with the Sharpshooter, turn him into a pretzel and make the back of his feet touch the back of his head.  Boom!  Punk doesn't believe him, and doesn't think Hart believes it himself.  Punk says exactly what would happen - the WWE as we know it would not exist. "Punk vs Hart? That's easy, I'm the best in the world.  I wouldn't need Vince to screw anyone because I'd beat you myself.  The Attitude era would never have been born and I would have jumped the sinking ship and would have left to WCW and WWE would be dead". Hart underestimates Punk's brilliance.  As far as Hart is considered the best in the world is "excellently executed by the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be." Nice pop. Punk: "It absolutely kills me that you still refer to yourself as that. You could call yourself the king of England... hell, you could call yourself the King of Memphis but that doesn't make it true, right Jerry?" Haha, nice. Booooooo.  "How're you feeling this week, Jerry?  No hard feelings though right?". Hart:" I don't know what your history with Jerry Lawler is. (You don't watch Raw, Bret?) I have a long history with Jerry Lawler, and we go way back.  He always showed up though."  We go to the titantron and see the recap of when Punk kicked Cena in the head, followed by the GTS on the car bonet. And there's Paul Heyman again. WoOoOo! 

Punk: "Well, what can I say Bret?  I was in my hometown.  A town that treats Champions respectfully, (to the audience).  I was in a hurry to enjoy my day off.  I forgot some stuff and came back to see  John Cena.  Where is he now?  Is he in the back?  Does John have your back?  Did you ask JC to be your white knight tonight?" Hart:  I did talk to JC and said I'd like to talk to these people, and with all due respect-- Punk: "RESPECT?! You don't know the meaning of the word or you wouldn't speak to the WWE champion like that, and I have been WWE champion longer than you ever had.  On sunday I will beat JC and cement my legacy and be known as the best wwe champion of all time.  Did you hear the audience? These... people? when you came out?  that's the respect and admiration I get all across the world when I compete. You are just like JC, you are overstated, overhyped, overrated and at NOC,  I will put JC to sleep." Bret: "Just like you're putting all these people to sleep right now." Burn.

Punk looks mad. Breathe, Punk, breathe.  Nice "Boring" chant from the crowd.  Punk: "No, at NOC I'm going to turn JC into a beaten, broken down, empty shell of a man... just like you are".  Punk drops the mic and backs slowly away, staring down the Hitman. Ah, an "asshole" chant, it's been a while.  Punk ends it by shouting "BEST IN THE WORLD!" while holding his WWE championship up high.

Punk proves time and time again why he truly is one of the best in the world.  Although Hart will never be remembered by his ability on the mic, he had some pretty good lines but once again, Punk owned this promo as he tends to in most.  Later tonight we have Bret Hart interviewing John Cena.  I guess it would be stupid to have Hart come out for 15 minutes and that be the end of it, particularly with the 3 hours.

Has anyone actually seen Anger Management with Charlie Sheen?  It looks wank to be honest.  One of the great advantages of Sky+ is I can fast forward through the 3,470 ad breaks (and DIvas matches, but I won't for the purposes of this review).

Another #Rawactive match for later, asking who CM Punk's opponent should be out of Brodus Clay, Jerry Lawler and Randy Orton.  If this is incentive to watch Raw live I don't see it.  If it's not Orton I will eat my own hair.
Tag Team Champions Kofi Kingston and R-Truth make their entrance to a nice pop.  Awwwwwwwwwwwwesommmmme.  Miz strolls out followed by Antonio Cesaro.  Why have these guys team when you can actually use a tag team?  Aksana tells us Cesaro is going to say five words that best describe him in 5 different languages.  The word was prestige, apparently.  HUGE NEWS came in earlier to say that the pre-show for NOC will be a battle royal to determine the number one contender for the US title.  Fair enough.

Kingston and Miz start things off with a headlock followed by an irish whip and monkey flip by Kingston.  Tag to R-Truth with a double russian legsweep and elbow/knee drop to a count of nothing as Miz just rolls out the ring.  Cesaro tries to ambush them but gets taken out and rolls out too.  Kingston then does a Hardy Boyz style dive over the top to an ad break.  Another one? Gawd.  I could've done without seeing the entrances and just the match, please.

We come back with Cesaro in control with a headlock to R-truth. Heh, Aksana is lying on the ring just under the bottom rope. Tag to Miz as he throws his balls at the back of R-Truth's head while on the ropes and pushes him to the corner with some really weak-looking punches.  Miz then does his jumping clothesline thing and climbs to the top rope.  Miz off the rope with a double axe handle and a cover for one.  He follows it up with a rear chin lock.  Truth fights out with punches but eats a knee to the gut.  Miz off the rope meets a spinning heel kick from Killings.  Both guys tag out and Kofi springboards onto Cesaro with a clothesline followed by his double chops and a DROPKICK.  Superman punch followed by the train taunt he does and the boom drop.  It's over, according to Kofi as he sets up for the Trouble in Paradise.  Miz up on the apron eats a dropkick.  Cesaro takes advantage briefly as he throws him into the corner.  Kofi flips out and kicks Cesaro in the face followed by a beautiful frog splash-style crossbody and a cover that's interrupted by Miz. My fingers hurt. R-Truth hits the lie detector on Miz and gets thrown out by Cesaro.  Kingston goes for Trouble but Cesaro rolls him up for a 2 1/2 count.  Cesaro thought it was three and gets a Trouble in Paradise for his... troubles.  One, two, three sees the tag team champions the victors.  You'd think they would be since they are the champions of tag teams, so good booking in that sense.

We go back to last week with Sheamus vs Swagger as he introduces the Cloverleaf, then ADR attacks and Ricardo eats the Brogue Kick, which lead to the whole banning of the Brogue Kick.  Sheamus and Bret Hart are having a chit chat around some crates as we go to our third ad break in 30 minutes.  Good God.

I've not seen Saturday Morning Slam.  Is it good?

Earlier today there was a meeting with Otunga, Rodriguez and Sheamus.  Sheamus was asked if he swears he will tell the truth, Sheamus responds with "Sure! Otunga, you are the biggest di--" before being cut off.  I chuckled.  Crazy Irish bastard.  They proceed with Otunga "State your name for the record" He does.  I am going to spell Sheamus' last name as it sounds... lipshits?  If your lipshits, what does your arse do? Wow, that's not PG!  Funny, though.  That's not his real last name, obvz.  They go over what happened on Raw.  Sheamus admits to Brogue Kicking Rodriguez and said he would do it again if he had to. His "lawyer" has a word with him.  Does the name Chad Patton mean anything to you, Sheamus?  He's a referree, who Sheamus Brogue Kicked.  Do you know Daniel Bryan?  Oh, goatface? Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Stop stealing that, Sheamus. Get your own.  Otunga meantions Sheamus's sneak attack on Daniel Bryan on Wrestlemania. Otunga is winding Sheamus up, telling him if he knew how much damage the Brogue Kick actually did.  Sheamus ended up Brogue Kicking the camera that was recording them and started singing. Sheamus vs Otunga later.

Not as bad as I thought actually. WWE are coming up with some above average skits lately.  Keep it up! Ad break number 4.

Six-woman tag team match with Layla, Kaitlyn (who are opponents at NOC) and Eve vs Alicia Fox, Natalya and Beth Phoenix. Kaitlyn and Phoenix start off with a waist lock by Kaitlyn into the corner.  Kaitlyn aggressive with a shoulder block, knee and right hand.  Beth reverses an irish whip but Kaitlyn puts on the brakes and EXPLODES with a lariat to Phoenix. Lyn off the ropes for a shoulderblock and an elbow sending Phoenix to the ropes who tags in Natalya. Double team on Lyn for a two count.  Natalya with a slap and irish whip.  Alicia gets a kick to the back of Lyn and a cocky pin by Natalya for one.  Fox tagged in and hits a northern lights suplex for two.  Whip in the corner and Fox misses with the big boot. Lyn tags in Layla who hits a spinning facebuster.  Layla goes for the step-up crossbody for a two.  Fox off the ropes and receives a kick by layla.  Eve tags herself in and hits a cross rhodes-like neckbreaker with no name for the win.  Eve is ecstatic about the win and celebrates with her partners, who look confused.

This was all about the face team, which is alright since it advances their storyline. Why they're not using Beth or Natalya is beyond me.

AJ staring at a TV as Punk approaches her, complaining that JC doesn't have a match yet Punk does and doesn't even know who his opponent is.  He questions why she is doing this and wonders if she is still embarrassed that he rejected her marriage proposal, or if it's because of her episode last week.  AJ said she could make it worse for him and let him fight Sheamus, but actually agrees with Punk in that a champion vs champion match needs more of a build up.  Considering Punk walked out on the people last week, they get to decide his fate this week.  She wishes him luck and walks off.  Punk goes to walk off and is met by Brodus Clay who smiles and says "Wassup?" That's probably the last time we will see Clay, since he's not going to get voted for, is he? Ad break number 5!

Official NOC theme is Champions by Kevin Rudolf.  No idea who he is, but it's featuring Fred Durst, Birdman and Lil' Wayne.  No idea who Birdman is.
Punk out next to what sounds like a mixed reaction. Belt almost flew off as Punk spun round. Nice catch, though.  Michael Cole tells us the results of the #rawactive twitter bollocks.  Who's it gonna be?!?! Looks like I get to keep my hair.  75% of the votes go to the viper.  I'm not surprised, nor disappointed, since these guys don't interact all that much.  Should be good. Punk looks annoyed.

Cole points out the colour of Punk's wrestling gear matching those of Bret Hart.  Punk is tied 10th of all time with Superstar Billy Graham as far as title reigns go. They start with a headlock by Punk, off the ropes and a shoulder block by Punk who brags about it.  Stare down to another headlock by Punk, off the ropes again and another shoulderblock by Punk.  Punk off the ropes meets an arm drag by Orton.  Another stare down as Punk backs to the corner and shoo's Orton away.  Third headlock this time by Orton as the crowd start a "Let's go Orton, CM Punk" chant. Punk backs Orton into the corner and hits a knee to break the headlock, followed by kicks to the mid-section.  Punk drags orton out and stamps followed by a backbreaker with a one count.  Headlock by punk.  Orton slowly gets to his feet as Punk hits two knees to the gut and takes Orton down, maintaining the headlock.  Orton back up with elbows as he fights out of the headlock and a headbutt knocks Punk to the corner.  Orton hits Punk with strikes and throws him to the opposite side of the ring.  Punk up and over Orton who then almost eats an RKO but rolls out the ring to boos from the Montreal crowd.  Punk turns around and walks away as the ref counts.  Orton follows and gives Punk a punch to the back.  More punches as he leads Punk down the ramp and into the security wall.  Punk rolled back in the ring by Orton but dropkicks Orton's legs as he's on the apron.  Orton smashes his head on the edge of the ring and falls to the floor as we are at ad break number 6!

Back in the ring and Punk has Orton in an abdominal stretch.  Orton counters with an armdrag but misses with a knee drop.  Punk with a knee to the stomach and a stomp before going to the middle rope for an elbow drop followed by a two count.  Punk with a scoop slam and legdrop for another two count.  Punk goes north for a Randy Savage elbow but Orton crotches Punk. Orton with punches to the head and a rather lovely superplex.  Kick out at two by Punk.  Orton and Punk on their knees as they exchange blows (hur, hur) and up to their feet.  Orton bounces off the rope to meet a kick to the gut by Punk.  Orton hits his patented clotheslines and goes for the snap powerslam but Punk holds onto the ropes.  Orton tells Punk to 'bring it' and hits him with a back body drop. "Come on, Montreal!" says the pandering Orton as he goes for the middle rope DDT.  Punk fights out with a roundhouse to the side of the head and springboard clothesline for a two count.  Punk signals it's time for Orton to go to sleep.  Orton counters with elbows and goes for an RKO.  Punk pushes him away but Orton hits him with his inverted back breaker for another two count.  Lots of pin attempts in this match.  Lawler is getting excited.  Orton hits his middle rope DDT. Vintage Orton! Orton slams the mat as he sets up for the RKO but Ziggler turns up behind.  Orton goes to RKO Ziggler but Ziggler pushes Orton towards Punk, who Orton clotheslines out of the ring.  Ziggler runs at Orton but is met by a snap powerslam.  Orton waits for Ziggler to get up as Punk runs at him to be met by a powerslam himself.  Orton targets Punk for an RKO but Ziggler attacks from behind.  Ziggler beating Orton down in the corner as Punk holds his feet still.  Orton to the floor as Ziggler is beating the crap out of him.  Crowd chanting for Randy, when Lawler enters the fray and beats Punk out of the ring.  Orton is recovered and throws Ziggler out the ring.  Where's Teddy Long to make the tag match?  Orton and Lawler aren't done as they go out the ring to brawl as we go for ad break number 7.  There will be a tag match.

We're back for some tag team action!  Orton and Ziggler in the corner with elbows by Ziggler.  Ziggler hits his neckbreaker.. Orton clapped just before he was dropped.. weird. But fun.  Ziggler nails Orton with right hands, with Vickie screeching from ringside.  Orton whipped into the corner fires back with a clothesline and stomps.  Upper cut by Orton followed by a bouncy-off-the-rope-suplex.  Lawler tagged and hit a quite impressive dropkick to Ziggler followed by two fist drops off the ropes.  Lawler looks good in Montreal.  Two count for Lawler. Ziggler fires back with a beautiful dropkick. Haha, Punk is playing with the string on the turnbuckle. Ziggler hits his jumping elbow for two followed by a headlock. Lawler hits Ziggler with punches to the gut but gets floored with a clothesline. Ziggler slaps on a headlock and moves Lawler's hand to tag in Orton saying "You can do it, King!" before punching him in the chest.  That was amusing.  Ziggler struts around the ring Flair style before an elbow drop to cover for two.  Another headlock as the pace slows right down.  Punk looks bored.  Lawler fights out of the headlock with a back suplex.  Orton is getting fired up outside.  Lawler jumps to Orton for a tag who explodes in the ring with his clotheslines and powerslam. Orton goes for the rope-DDT on Punk's side of the ring but Ziggler sends him crashing to the floor. Paul Heyman! Paul Heyman! Paul Heyman.. comes walking down the ring.  He has a word with Punk while the crowd chant ECW! ECW! ECW! Vickie is screeching "Excuse me?!" at the gentlemen as they try to ignore her.  They give her evils as she screams at them and continue talking.  Heyman grabs the belt.  Ziggler is beating down Orton as this happens. RKO to Ziggler gives Lawler and Orton the win.  Punk doesn't care, as he walks off with Heyman, still chatting.  

Randy Orton and Jerry Lawler beat Dolph Ziggler and CM Punk by pinfall.
Another reminder of the upcoming Bret Hart and John Cena interview as ad break number 8 rears its ugly head.

Punk and Heyman are walking down the corridor, still chatting as Matt Striker asks what the nature of this relationship is.  Punk and Heyman look at each other as Punk says "I'm a Paul Heyman guy".  They both walk off. This could be the start of a beautiful (on-air) friendship.

Cole throws us back to last week with the "hug-it-out" match between Kane and Daniel Bryan.  Miz: "This is the most awkward and weird thing I've ever seen" Yeah, pretty much.  Awesome, though. I love it when Daniel Bryan yells at Kane, saying "you didn't hug me! I hugged you!" It quickly descends into a brawl, which if you saw last week (I assume you did), you already know.
Kane is shown backstage looking around an empty room, until Bryan turns up. Bryan: "Well?" Kane: "Well, what?" Bryan: "I was told you had something to say to me" Kane: "I was told you had something to say to me". Someone clears their throat. He/she has a lot of guts showing up here. Of all the monsters Kane has known, he is the most sadistic, twisted and evil, or something. Camera pans to Dr. Shelby of the Anger Management sketches with a smile on his face. He thanks Kane for that and says it's important that we express our emotions honestly.  DB asks why he was there and AJ says she asked him here. Dr. Shelby's 'radical' advice will either solve their anger management problems together or send them both into an abyss they will never recover from, but it relies on their ability to completely trust each other. DBry and Kane stare each other down for ad break number 9.
Heath Slater is waiting in the ring. Zack Ryder is on the tron, who tells Slater that although he wishes he were, he's not his opponent. His opponent isn't Ryder, but it's close enough..

..FEED. ME! Ryback is Slater's opponent. My 8 month daughter starting laughing as Ryback made his way down the ring. Weird child. New ref? Not seen him before. He looks like a teenager. Goldberg chants as usual. Headlock by Slater, who is shoved right out of the ring. Feed me more chant by crowd as Slater eats a clothesline. Slater lands a punch on Goldback who hits with one of his own, knocking Slater to the floor.  Slater hits a jumping neckbreaker and covers for nothing. Kicks to the back pisses Ryback off but gets hit with a DDT for another no count. Slater tells everyone he's the one man band before getting run over by Ryback.  Ryback hits Slater with a spinbuster followed by a powerbomb. Finish. It! What's his finisher called? Turn out the lights? I thought it was different. Anyway, Ryback picks up the win, naturally. I guess his feud with Jinder Mahal is over.

Cole and Lawler hype up the WWE app. Snore. AJ Lee is met by the Prime time Players. Titus is blowing a whistle. Mr. No Days off wonders if AJ Lee has some money for them. No, she called them in because she made a mistake. They apparently are not the #1 contenders for the titles. They are the only team on the roster who are worth millions of dollars, millions of dollars, millions of dollars.  they're not the #1 contenders because they haven't beaten every team yet... Daniel Bryan and Kane.  Right.. Ad break 10.
D-Bry out first to a really big pop. That makes me do a sex wee (I've been watching Bo' Selecta a lot lately). D-Bry goes to shout NO! in a fan's face but composes himself and enters the ring. Kane out next, which makes D-Bry jump. Kane also gets a nice pop. They don't look happy to be teaming together. PTP make their way out next to boos from the crowd. "Oui!" chant from the audience as Kane starts off against Titus O'Neil. Titus off the rope meets a clothesline by Kane and strikes in the corner.  Quick tag by Kane to Bryan by slapping him in the chest. Bryan lands No kicks to Titus in the corner. Reversal off the ropes by Titus as Bryan goes for a waste lock, Titus shoves him off and Young makes the tag for a running clothesline. Two count for Young, followed immediately by a one count. Titus tagged back in for a double-team attack on Bryan followed by a two.  Scoop slam on Bryan.  Elbows in the corner by Titus and then beats Bryan down, which gets the ref's attention as Young lands a cheap shot. Young tagged in and hits a northen lights suplex for a two count.  Headlock by Young. Prime Time Losers? Is that what they were chanting? Harsh. Titus tagged in and drops Young onto Bryan. Titus chokes Bryan on the ropes, but Bryan fights back as he is backed into the corner with kicks.  Titus counters by dropping Bryan's ribs on his knee.  Titus yells at Bryan, telling him to get up as he stomps on Bryan while shouting yes.  He then does his walrus-dog hybrid thing and slaps on a headlock.  Young tagged back in but Bryan fires back with fists and forearms.  Young twists Bryan over with a snapmare followed by a headlock.  I've written headlock a lot in this review.  The announcers are hardly saying anything.. maybe Vince is yelling at them.  Daniel Bryan hits a suplex on Young and both men are down.  Kane is asking for the tag but Bryan says no.  Bryan up to the top rope but misses the flying headbutt. Young covers for a two and goes right back to the headlock. Bryan up to his feet and fights out of the headlock followed by a running clothesline.  Both men are down, as Bryan looks over at Kane again and again says no to a much-needed tag.  Bryan hits Young with kicks to the mid-section.  Kane tags himself in by slapping Bryan on the back.  Kane goes to town on Young with running clotheslines in the corner followed by his sidewalk slam for a count of two.  Bryan looks annoyed as Kane goes up top for his ever-impressive clothesline.  Kane is calling for a chokeslam, which he hits near the ropes.  Titus comes in and is sent up and over the rope by Kane.  Bryan tags himself in by slapping Kane's back, which Kane is annoyed about.  Bryan finds it funny, until Kane gives Bryan a chokeslam onto Young, which was counted as a pinning combination as DBry and Kane win with the 1-2-3.  Kane picks Daniel Bryan up and raises his arm as they are the new number one contenders.  Bryan collapses to the floor holding the back of his neck. Kane stands over as Bryan comes to and stares up at kane, wondering what just happened.

Kind've annoying that the PTP, who should be due a tag title run, surely, are playing second fiddle to Kane and D-Bry, especially this close to the PPV.  Sure, they've built the relationship between Bryan and Kane really well, but this then means that the tag team champions are playing second fiddle to this storyline. Rah rah rah. Next.

They replay the promo between Punk and Bret from earlier. The third mention of Bret Hart's interview of John Cena as we hit ad break number 11.
We're back as Rodriguez comes out to no music.  He introduces Alberto Del Rio who comes out in a 2010 Bentley costing $250k apparently.  His opponent is Tyson Kidd.  Nice to see Kidd have more TV time, but let's face it, nothing will come of this. ADR starts aggressively as he beats down Tyson. Kidd fires back with a spinning kick and goes for the sharpshooter early.  Tilt-the-world backbreaker sees a quick cover followed by more stomping from ADR and knees to the back.  A rear chinlock by ADR on Tyson.  I can't hear what the crowd is chanting, I'm really bad at that.  Kidd fights out and ADR goes for his bump through the middle rope to the floor.  Tyson follows this up with a kick to the chest.  Back in the ring, Tyson goes for a springboard elbow but misses and ADR follows it up with a running kick to the face.  Ouch.  ADR looked to be going for a sharpshooter but Tyson goes for one of his own to a big pop from the crowd.  ADR gets to the ropes, although I did think for a second he would tap.  Tyson misses a leg drop and ADR slams his arm using the rope as an ally.  Cross Armbreaker slapped on and Tyson taps in no time.  Nice that Kidd had his moment to please the crowd but ADR was always winning this.
Rodriguez hands ADR a mic, who asks Sheamus if he is watching this, as he destroyed this Canadian peasant, which is nothing compared to what he's going to do to Sheamus. He already lost the Brogue Kick, it's time for you to lose the World Heavyweight Title.  ADR drops the mic. 

Uh, camerman goes to Michael Cole who explains why Lawler isn't there.  Lawler apparently collapsed a few matches back.  Oh, this isn't part of the storyline.  It explains the silence from the announce team.  I hope Jerry is okay. Ad break 12. 

Sheamus is out now to a nice pop. I wonder if that person found out if Sheamus was their daddy.  They show some tweets from Sheamus, telling his 'Hooligans' about how he should be able to use the Brogue Kick.  Otunga is a fantastic character, in fact, one of the best, but I'm really not looking forward to this match as far as quality is concerned.  Otunga dives at Sheamus, forcing him in the corner as he delivers forearms and boots.  Against the ropes, Otunga tells Sheamus he is nothing without the Brogue Kick as he slaps him.  Sheamus fights back with a shoulderblock and stomps the crap out of Otunga.  I forget what those ten punches to the chest are called. Hand grenade something, I think, but he does that anyway. Irish Curse backbreaker.  Cole isn't saying a word.. hmm. Cloverleaf to Otunga makes Otunga tap quickly.  Sheamus wins via submission. Throwaway match as predicted.  
Sheamus slows as he gets to the ramp and turns round.  He looks to the audience (I will not call them WWE Universe) and goes back in the ring, as they chant Brogue Kick at him. Sheamus starts slapping his chest before nailing Otunga with the Brogue Kick.  AJ Lee Light's it up as she makes her prescence felt.  AJ is left with no other option as Booker T makes his way out.  He looks mad.  He says he doesn't know what AJ was going to say but this is WHC business. Sheamus! You know you shouldn't be using that Brogue Kick, particularly since I am being investigated.  Sheamus gives Booker T no choice, but if he uses the Brogue Kick at all, wherever and whenever during Booker's investigation, he will be stripped of his title, and that's final. Sheamus looks annoyed.

Backstage, Rey Mysterio is chatting to Hart.  Cole still hasn't said anything. Ad break 13.

They show the Bryan/Kane match from earlier and go to a Tout from Kofi and R-Truth, who talk about it.  I don't care for Tout.

Dr. Shelby is backstage as Bryan and Kane storm in. Bryan is annoyed with Kane, but Kane justifies it by saying that they won.  Dr. Shelby is pleased though, because they still worked as a team.  Bryan calmly tells Kane that he didn't appreciate the chokeslam, but he did get the cover, and he did win the match.  He guesses he could start to like the team of Daniel Bryan and Kane.  Kane corrects him by saying it's Kane and Daniel Bryan.  Bryan holds his ground saying he prefers his way.  Kane says "how about kane and the rotting eviscerated corpse of daniel bryan" and Bryan fires back with "how about Daniel Bryan and the big red freak that he beat at Summerslam!". Dr. Shelby shouts to get their attention, suggesting they call it team friendship.  They both shout No at him and walk off arguing about the team name. Kofi Kingston and R-Truth vs Daniel Bryan/Kane and Kane/Daniel Bryan is official.  They run through the other matches such as Orton-Ziggler, Sheamus-ADR and Cena-Punk. 

Back to Cole, who prefaces this by saying this is not part of the storyline.  He reminds us of Lawler collapsing outside.  He mentions that he has been taken to a local hospital and is on oxygen, although is breathing on his own.  Out of respect to Jerry there will be no more commentary tonight. .
Mysterio is out, who gives his mask to a kid who isn't wearing a mask.  Damn kid! Ad break 14.

These Did You Know things are really annoying.  No one cares about Facebook friends.

Cody Rhodes is Mysterio's opponent for this match.  We've seen this before, but they work well together so I expect a decent match from them. Weird with no commentary. Rhodes hits his goldust-uppercut for a one count and goes to the corner.  He hits Rey with knees as he bounces him off the rope and goes for another two count.  Punches to Rey as Rhodes celebrates, before hitting a suplex on Mysterio. Forearm to the face as Rhodes makes Foley-noises.  Mysterio fights back with kicks but Rhodes goes for the Cross Rhodes neckbreaker.  Mysterio fights out of it and sends Cody out to the floor. Hurricanrana off the apron to Cody, who is then rolled back in the ring.  Rey flies off the ropes to give Cody another Hurricanrana but Cody catches him, throws him back and hits the Disaster Kick for a near 3 count.  Cody is convinced it was three and angrily stomps on Rey.  Ref asks Rey if he can continue, which he can.  Cody commands Rey to get up as he charges shoulder-first at him in the corner only to meet the steel post.  Crowd are fairly dead so far, but the pace picks up as Rey hits his wheelbarrow bulldog.  Cody gets in the fetal position to duck a kick, but gets oen as he gets back up again.  Two count for Rey, who then goes up top and hits his seated senton on Cody.  Cody attempts a powerbomb but Rey flips over and kicks Cody onto the ropes.  Miz tries to interfere but gets dropkicked, allowing Cody to hit Cross Rhodes for the win.   Miz enters and shoves his IC title in Rey's face.  He then takes off his jacket and tries to attack Mysterio.  Cody comes from behind and hits Miz with the Cross Rhodes!  Surprising.  He then picks up the IC title to some cheers from the crowd and shouts "my baby!" before throwing at Miz and making his exit.  

Good!  Triple threat at NOC? I'd be up for that.

We see John Cena walk backstage as we go to ad break 15.

Cole greets us and reminds us yet again that this isn't a part of the broadcast and that Jerry is in the E.R.

Time for the interview by Bret Hart, who comes out for another great ovation from the Montreal crowd.  He's not from Montreal, but he is a God in Canada (he's from Calgary), much like William Regal is my God. Bret Hart gets right to it and introduces John Cena, who gets booed.  Only Cena can get Canadians to boo something Bret Hart says.  Usual reaction for Cena - high-pitched cheers and basey-boos.  Cena strolls to the ring and takes in the Montreal crowd.  He holds Bret's arm up for a cheap pop and grabs a mic.  Cena thanks Bret, which receives boos.  Bret invites Cena in closer and says that Cena's problems with Punk are similar to his own problems with Michaels.  He said they had a mutual respect but it ended up in a rivalry that almost destroyed their lives.  When he looks at JC he sees a lot of himself and when he looks at Punk he sees a lof of the old Shawn Michaels and what does JC think of that.  JC thanks Hart for mentioning his name with Hart and Michaels and he agrees with the audience (who are booing) that he needs a lot more to have that accolade.  He says the differences between Punk and Michaels are obvious.  "You can't wrestle" chant fires up, which makes Cena smile slightly.  The thing he loves about Montreal is that they recognise a Hall of Famer and that he couldn't lace his boots and that's a fact.  The difference between Punk and Michaels is that at least Michaels was honest about being a jerk, whereas Punk says he is the voice of the people and yet hasn't earned that.  Punk is just a desperate, delusional young man and thinks that leather and gold = respect (so no respect for 16 time world champ Flair?).  Hart asks what JC is going to do to shut this phoney up. Phoney? Punk enters.  He couldn't hear them over the people. Did they call him a phoney? Bret Hart confirms this by calling him a phoney little punk.  JC asks Hart to let him handle this one. He asks Punk if bret calling him a phoney irritates him. He asks if it makes him want to come to the ring, in which case, he's also calling him a phoney.  He says he can either stay there or come here, through the ropes, and make the biggest mistake of his life.  If that isn't the pot calling the kettle black, says Punk.  He says the biggest phoney in the history of this biggest casting his judgement on the WWE champion.  He does whatever he wants, and has decided to come out and defend his good name in the face of such ridiculous disrespect. It almost breaks his heart to see them standing in the ring together.  It makes him realise that the Hitman and JC are so much alike, which isn't a compliment.  He says they can sit there and say how great they are and ignore the fact that they were both surpassed by people far superior to themselves.  In JC's case he is talking about himself, and the Hitman's he is talking about Michaels.  He says you can't compare Punk and michaels because Punk is better than Michaels. Montreal boos this.  Punk asks remembers that hillbilly he made pass out at Wrestlemania 13, Stone cold? He's better than him, too.  he says he's better than the Rock.  He says we all knew, and we all saw what he did to the Rock, when he showed him one iota of disrespect, what cena couldn't do in a year.  He's the best at everything, and he doesn't say these things because he is insecure, but says it because he is it.  And that makes him anything but a phony.

JC says he is right, because that last statement makes him a liar, a hypocrite and a conceted scumbag.  He says he can also add that to his resumé.  He says he has realised that Montreal is a very honest city.  For years WWE has reserved to this city as 'bizzaro world' and that is just Montreal's honesty.  He is going to take a page out of their book and hit Punk with some truth.  He says for 300 days Punk has been champion and for those 300 days the championship has been irrelevant.  He says month after month he watches the main event pass him back and says how he talks about conspiracies passing him by.  He says he has been here for many years and the only time he made some noise was when his mic was made silence, referencing Punk's summer promo.  He then mentions Punk's shining moment at MITB and says how he had change.  He says the only thing Punk wanted changed was making Punk a star.  He remembers Punk saying Cena had become what he decided, referecncing stardom, but Cena said no, he went from an underdog to an odds-on favourite but he did it all as himself.  Then there's Punk, who has changed his ideology numerous times, stabbed his friends in the back, stolen colours from legends and the elbow from Randy Savage, all because he can't find himself.  He's not saying he's not tough or accomplished, but his latest phase of devcelopment has revolved around the championship.  So at NOC he is going to have to search for a new identity.  He has realised that at NOC he is in serious jeapodary of losing his WWE champoionship which is why he has been really loud recently.  He then speaks in French to a big pop.  No idea what he's saying, but I assume it's toilet humour.  He goes to explain what he said but Punk interrupts him.

Punk says he has lowered himself to them, but JC gets all fired up and tells Jack to listen.. 

He then says to Punk that he doesn't lower himself to them because they are the reason we are here.  He says Punk is an ignorant son of a bitch who needs a lesson in respect and says at NOC he is going to kick his ass.  Stare down. Punk starts to back away and goes to punch Bret Hart, which Cena blocks.  They stare down again as Cena takes his shirt off, much to the delight of the females.  Punk goes to hit Hart again, but Hart blocks it and punches Punk back, who rolls out of the ring.  Hart's music plays as Punk looks on from the isle. The crowd are throwing crap at Punk. And that wraps up Raw, as Cena is talking trash to Punk, egging him on to get in the ring.  Cole leaves us with encouraging news concerning Jerry Lawler, which is he has stabilised which is fantastic.

Thanks for reading!  Hopefully it's not too bad.  I should be back next Tuesday for another review!